Step 1: Ride to a Starbucks and park close to where everyone is sitting outside. Ensure hot chicks are around...or hot dudes...whatever, not discriminating.
Step 2: Buy a cup of coffee, and conveniently enough, since there's no where to sit since all the tables are taken, sit on your bike while you sip your latte and just look cool (supposedly). Pretend to text a chick...even though you are not texting a chick. fake a chuckle even.
Step 3: Freak out when cop car turns on his siren and drop your coffee like a spaz, spilling it all over tank and subsequently, the shoes, and pavement. The coffee is hot...but don't scream.
Step 4: Exclaim: "Sh*t!" in a manly manner.
Step 5: Get off bike to pick up coffee cup
Step 6: Quickly get back on bike after realizing the kickstand is not down. Once again, ensure spaz-like movements. Put kickstand down.
Step 7: Successfully pick up coffee cup and conduct walk of shame to trash can to throw coffee away.
Step 8: Gear up, get on bike, start bike and attempt to pull away
Step 9: Shift to First and stall
Step 10: Start bike again, shift to first and immediately stall again.
Step 11: Exclaim "wtf" to yourself, avoid looking behind you as you know everyone is watching you.
Step 12: Retract Kickstand you idiot
Step 13: Start bike again, successfully shift to first, and pull away from starbucks.
Step 14: Stall at the stop sign 10 ft away.
Step 15: Never go back to that Starbucks for the rest of your life.
fml...
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